Sunday Morning and Letting It All Go

 Liz Claiborne top & pencil skirt – JCP
Studio 1940 cardigan – Fashion Bug
Clarks shoes – thrifted

This outfit was purchased at least a month ago, on sale, with a coupon, but I have felt too self-conscious to wear a pencil skirt lately. The black knit dress with the floral print sides a few weeks ago seemed daring enough. Anything close-fitting feels like it accentuates my belly entirely too much. But….I am doing my best to wear these things anyway. They fit; they are comfortable; they are nice styles. Just because my body doesn’t fit the mold of perfection doesn’t mean I cannot wear any style I choose.

Earrings – from MIL’s collection
Necklace – JCP

While I am not throwing in the towel in regards to my diet – I’m trying to reduce sugar intake and weaning myself off coffee – or exercise routine, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is the size my body has settled upon and I might as well accept that fact. No more wishing to be a smaller size. No more slavery to the bathroom scale. (By the way, I had to move the scale out of the bathroom to make room for a stack of paint cans [house project, see my personal Facebook page if you aren’t already aware of it]. The scale now resides in the laundry room in plain view of the porch door. I don’t get on it very often at all anymore! Should have done this ages ago…) 
I am a size 12 or 14. My weight hovers around 150 – 155 lbs. My arms and legs are chunky, and my belly is soft. So what?!
I am a wife. My husband likes – no, LOVES the fact that I can cook and bake food that he enjoys eating. He likes to snuggle with me on the couch of an evening. He doesn’t spout compliments to me very often, but I know that he loves me just the way I am.
I am a mother. My kids don’t seem to mind that I’m not perfect; at least not now that they are grown up. They don’t seem too embarrassed by me anymore. I’m sure that will change in another twenty years or so, though! Ha ha!

I am a Grammy! My Boo likes to snuggle with me and read books. I can pick him up and hug him tight. (He’s growing so big, tho, it won’t be long before I can’t pick him up any longer!) I have just enough energy to run around the yard with him. Boo loves me just the way I am.

I am a sister and a daughter. My parents and siblings love me just the way that I am. So do my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.
I am a daughter of the King. God loves me more than I can even imagine! He sees every aspect of my being, flaws galore, and transforms me into His very own child, perfect in every way, by His mercy and grace. 
If the people I love most in this world love me just the way I am, and the God of the universe deems me perfect, then how can I wish to be anything than what I already am? What makes me ME is so much more than my size and shape.  There is absolutely no reason at all for me to hide behind fear and shame any longer! I’m letting it all go…

4 thoughts on “Sunday Morning and Letting It All Go

  1. I agree with Grammie Goodwill. However, I still think you are too hard on yourself! I don't think God mostly sees flaws. You are a beautiful wife, mother and friend to some pretty lucky people!

  2. Pingback: Sometimes You Just Have to Let it Go | Flint Hills Hausfrau

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