Where has the time gone???

It seems that summer is not the time to be concerned about being fashionable. When it’s 95° with a heat index of 105°, I could care less if I look nice – I just want to be COOL! Unfortunately, no matter how many layers one removes – even to the point of becoming stark naked – one is still roasting in the Kansas heat. This is probably the only reason I prefer cold weather over hot. At least when it’s cold, you can add a sweater and feel fine.

In addition to it being too hot to care, I’ve also been quite busy this past month. Went to a camp for intellectually and developmentally disabled adults the first week (read about that in my other blog Celebrate Simplicity); spent the next week catching up on laundry & cleaning, babysitting Boo, and being sick; the third week saw more laundry & cleaning, taking a short anniversary “vacation” and assisting poor Hubby who hurt his back. This has left little time for fashion. Sometimes there are just more important things.

I have been working on a project, however, in between times. My goal this summer is to alter or construct one article of clothing or craft each week. My first project has taken two weeks, due to all the other stuff going on. But I did get it finished!

This summer-y denim dress called out to me while out thrift store shopping one day this past spring. It wasn’t bad in its original state, but needed a few tweaks to suit me better.

It’s hard to tell from the photo, but the dress was a bit big on top. Also, I dislike collars in the summer. So that was the first thing to go:

Sewing down the neckline, while easy enough, took a couple of days because my machine’s tension was all goofed up. It’s not fun fiddling with a cranky machine in a hot room with no air conditioning. I got to be as grumpy as that silly Brother after a couple of hours! Got it going, though, and quickly stitched up the neckline and put in a slightly shorter hem. Taking in the side seams was a little trickier – the left side has a zipper, so that had to be removed and put back in after taking in the seam. I discovered that when you do this, it changes how the zipper fits in the dress. It left about 1.5 inches without any zipper holding it together at the top, so I had to put in a hook & eye to keep it closed. Now, while this does the job, it is quite difficult to get the hook into the eye while wearing the dress! I’ll need Hubby’s assistance next time. Here’s the finished product:

Ponderings

It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve even thought about making a post in this blog. Something I’ve noticed since I’ve neglected Frumpy Hausfrau… my self-confidence and self-image have plummeted. I just don’t care what I look like most of the time, nor do I feel like showcasing that lack of care. I feel more like a Fat Dumpy Hausfrau and it shows.

This past month has been full of stresses and frustrations, both physical and emotional. My goal for May had been to drop 5 lbs – instead, I gained 3 lbs. Yes, I have been exercising regularly and being careful what I eat. I’ve counted calories, worked out til I’m sore and yet the scale continues to stick out its tongue at me. The Club of Condemnation has had plenty of use lately. If only I’d worked out harder…eaten even less calories…or not at all. If only I had naturally thin genes…if only I hadn’t regained the 35 lbs I’d lost 3 years ago.

And so I begin to wonder…is it really worth it? Dieting stinks. Hard workouts are painful for me. Neither brings me joy or results. In the long run, what will losing those 35 lbs benefit me? Yes, wearing a smaller size would be fabulous, having positive self-esteem would be nice, feeling more energized would be awesome, and getting my health numbers all in the “good” range would make the doctor happy (if I bothered to see one). But do those things truly matter in the grand scope of life? My tombstone isn’t going to read: Here lies M. G. She was a size 8 and had low cholesterol. My grandbaby could care less what size I wear; he’s just happy that I love him, play with him and take him for walks. And who’s to say I can’t have a positive self-image being the size and weight that I am right now? Isn’t the only thing stopping me — me?

I can’t honestly say that I will ever stop wishing for a lighter, smaller body. Nor will I ever allow myself to eat copious amounts of unhealthy food or eliminate exercise. However, I think that I can learn to be happy with myself as I am today. It’s going to take some work on my part, but I have an excellent role model to emulate: my friend and neighbor, T. She’s happy with herself, confident and healthy. She’s neither thin nor fat; she enjoys good food and rides her bike a LOT. The first thing one notices about T is not the size on the tag of her jeans, it is her joyous giggle and smiling face. T is a wonderfully happy person, and she makes everyone around her feel happy by proximity.

I want to be just like T…